This Child’s Mama
Written By Marcie Stokman, Well-Read Mom Founder and President
There was a woman who, after having six children and two miscarriages, gave all her baby gear away, from clothes—to cradle—to crib. Then, at 42, she learned that she was pregnant. Though she loved being a mother, and the initial surprise of this news sparked joy, the discovery soon turned to heaviness, and she was gripped by fear and uneasiness.
How could she face weeks of bone-weary tiredness, a growing belly and backaches, followed by the physical demands of labor and then the 2 am feedings, all while juggling and homeschooling six other children? She thought, “I’m too old to begin all this again.”
With her husband working long hours, this woman did not know what to do. Where should she turn with the anxious concern weighing on her heart? So, in her need, she made a phone call she had never made before.
As soon as the woman on the other end answered “Hello,” the woman unleashed a cascade of doubts. Surprisingly, crying out to the cloistered nun on the phone did not seem strange, and the nun did not appear flustered. The woman sobbed out her fears, “Sister, I am pregnant. I don’t think I can do all this again. I’m scared. I need rest. I don’t have the stamina. I can’t even pray”. Then she begged, “Sister, will you ask all the nuns to pray for me?”
A ray of hope hinted at the horizon. A crack of light pierced the darkness. Without a doubt, the restless mother was certain these nuns would pray. And, she was certain that their prayers carried weight with God. This knowledge lightened the load that was her own.
It is easy to be all in for a culture of life until one is faced with what seems like insurmountable limits. This woman had faith, but it was mustard-seed-size. That was enough. With a weary heart, she began to pray. Day by day, the fog cleared. Little by little, the ray of hope and the spark of joy grew.
The fear, though still present, did not dominate. It would not have the final say.
Another—who was not fear—spoke, “I need you to be this child’s mama.”
“Yes,” the woman whispered. Anticipation grew, as did her “Yes,” and her belly. She was privileged to be ‘mama’ once again. On Nov. 7th, 2002, beautiful Emma Rose was born into the arms of her father, who slipped into the delivery room just in time. (That’s a story of its own.)
Looking back at that fearful woman from twenty one years ago, this woman is astounded because that woman was me! And nothing I feared came to pass. Instead, what has dominated the last twenty years is joy.
As a family, we were swept-up-in and surprised by so much joy! Little Emma brought a springtime to our marriage and our family life. I had stamina, and I had strength. The delivery was smooth and short. I enjoyed being a mama like I had never enjoyed it before. I know it sounds crazy, but I cherished even changing her diapers. Through Emma, we were given a profound understanding of the gift of life.
Pope Benedict wrote, “Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.”
This child, Emma Rose, is necessary, and she is loved. She had more siblings to cherish her than the others. With Emma in the world, fights with the kids often centered around whose turn it was to hold her. How could it be that our hearts grew so much?
Thank you, Lord, for Emma Rose in all of our lives, especially mine!
Emma, it is a privilege to be your ‘mama.’ I love you, baby girl, all grown up. Twenty years ago, you took our hearts by storm, and we will never be the same. We love you. ~Mom
Marcie Stokman
Marcie Stokman, M.A., is founder and president of Well-Read Mom, an international movement and book club. As a former clinical nurse practitioner in mental health and longtime homeschooler, she writes and speaks to encourage women and share the power of reading. She and her husband, Peter, have seven children and 20 grandchildren. Marcie is the author The Well-Read Mom: Read more. Read well.
About Well-Read Mom
In Well-Read Mom, women read more and read well. Our hope is to deepen the awareness of meaning hidden in each woman’s daily life, elevate the cultural conversation, and revitalize reading literature from books. If you would like to have us help you select worthy reading material, we invite you to join and read along with us. We are better together! For information on how to start or join a Well-Read Mom group visit our website wellreadmom.com
