The Right to Be Called Gritty
Written by Mandy Knapp
I have had some very bad and difficult years. In this post-Covid age that sounds trite because I’m pretty sure we’ve all struggled in ways we never anticipated having to struggle. In a world where it always could be worse, my problems could always be worse. And yet, still… they’ve been pretty bad at times. On the one hand, that’s just life, right? We don’t get through it unscathed. If we were honest with ourselves, we probably would understand that it wouldn’t even be good if we could get by unscathed because we are refined by fire. We must muddle through the grit to earn the right to be called gritty.
Despite knowing all this, I have found myself wallowing in pity lately. I have found myself screaming to God, “Why me? Why can’t you let up? Why do we have to have one legitimate trauma after another?” I have found myself trying to reason with God, believing the maxim that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, but telling God that I think I am plenty strong enough for the time being; thank you very much.
And then I picked up True Grit, and I met Mattie Ross. I’m not entirely sure I agree with all of her life choices. As the mother of a teen girl and three one-day teen girls, I definitely don’t advocate for a 14-year-old to leave home and meet up with some morally questionable grown men to track down murderers and thieves out in the wild, untamed west. No, thank you! And yet, I’ve learned more from Mattie Ross than any fictional character in many years, save perhaps Helen Huntington from dear old The Tenant of Wildfell Hall.
Mattie is not a complainer. When a wrong has been committed, she tries to right it. When someone tries to swindle her, she uses her words (and threats of her prized lawyer) to get what she deserves. And when she finds herself trapped in a pit in danger of falling even further down, she rips off the arm of a dead man to keep herself hoisted up. While my struggles have been real, I can honestly say I have yet to find myself trapped underground with a corpse whose chest cavity is filled with rattlesnakes. It could always be worse.
I learned from Mattie Ross that life gives us what it gives us. I believe in God and His direction, guidance, and providential hand. It’s not an arbitrary world. And yet, it’s still a world largely out of my control. What comes my way comes my way. There is precious little I can do about it. And even when I can use prudence, planning, and judgment to bypass one problem, surely another is around the corner.
I, and most likely you, have not had the choice to stay weak. We have faced challenges and have had no choice but to deal with them, master them, and overcome them. But we have a choice in how we look at those challenges. We can view ourselves as unlucky victims or embrace our true grit and rise above physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We can lament where we are or celebrate what is within us. And we can lament the fall, or we can celebrate the rising.
The life Mattie was dealt was a tough one. It’s almost laughably tough compared to my life in my climate-controlled middle-class home with running water and soft beds. I don’t have to sleep with an old snoring lady in a too-small bed or out in the middle of nowhere as close to the campfire as it seems safe. But that doesn’t mean that my or your life is safe, easy, or simple.
So, while we aren’t racing across the country on our ponies, I think we can all learn a lesson from Mattie Ross. When life gets tough, instead of falling into lamentations, we can celebrate the grit that comes from within us all. We can rely on what is true and reliable within us rather than focus on what is unreliable and dangerous out there. And when life and a rattlesnake take away your arm, you can roll up your sleeve, take care of your people, and keep on.
About Mandy Knapp
Amanda Knapp is a wife, mother, reader, and writer who lives in the greater Chicagoland area. She has a Master’s degree in English from Northern Illinois University, and a Bachelor’s degree in Advertising from Marquette University. She spends her time freelancing, writing literature study guides, reading incessantly, knitting, and badgering her four daughters to talk to her about the books they are reading.
About Well-Read Mom
In Well-Read Mom, women read more and read well. Our hope is to deepen the awareness of meaning hidden in each woman’s daily life. We long to elevate the cultural conversation and revitalize reading literature from books. If you would like us to help you select worthy reading material, we invite you to join and read along. We are better together! For information on how to start or join a Well-Read Mom group visit our website wellreadmom.com
