Seeking Beyond the Suffering
Written By Mary Perrydore
Seeking. I am always seeking. Seeking a bargain, a better way to do a chore, or getting two errands done simultaneously. But this year has been different. Life events have pushed me deeper toward inner strength, perseverance, and, ultimately, toward God more fully present in me.
My ninety-nine-year-old mother recently had a stroke. It was unexpected. Before the stroke, she could run circles around most seventy-five-year-olds. The stroke has left her with no mobility, requiring help with every necessity. As I journey with her through this suffering, providing most of her care, I can only seek the Lord. Sometimes, in my sleep-deprived state of exhaustion, I’m tempted to shake my fist at Him and scream, “Why?” Why, after ninety-nine years of faithful service, did she not just stop living? Why does she have to suffer through this? Why do I have to suffer through this?
As I contemplate this difficult situation, I realize that even when immense suffering comes, all the other sufferings don’t stop. My husband and I are nearing the end of raising six children. It’s more challenging to bring up young people in today’s darkened world than it was a decade ago. I must seek God in the smaller storms of keeping the kids on track. I also seek God with my grown children as they face challenges like making their way during difficult economic times, bringing children into the world, and sorting through significant life decisions. While the immense sufferings of my mom are ever-present to me, the smaller sufferings create the backdrop of life.
Amidst this, I read The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. Through his wisdom and well-thought-out words, I saw myself. I was trying to press my own will instead of seeking God’s will. I was seeking the things of this world instead of seeking the things of heaven. Brother Lawrence and the faith-filled women in my Well-Read Mom group helped me see the beauty of suffering with the Lord. As I seek God in every moment of the day, I know with confidence that when these current storms pass, I will have all the joy of His consolation and peace.
Each afternoon, I relish in my mini-retreat as I grab the current Well-Read Mom selection and a cup of coffee. I look forward to our monthly gathering to discuss the ups and downs of life as seen through great literature. Here in this place, I can seek God and learn to better see Him in all things.
About Mary Perrydore
Mary Perrydore lives in Saline, MI. She’s wife to a deacon, mother of six (mostly) grown children, and grandma to four little ones. When not reading a good book, Mary enjoys volunteering at church, trying to grow more vegetables than weeds in her garden, and walking.
About Well-Read Mom
In Well-Read Mom, women read more and read well. Our hope is to deepen the awareness of meaning hidden in each woman’s daily life, elevate the cultural conversation, and revitalize reading literature from books. If you would like to have us help you select worthy reading material, we invite you to join and read along with us. We are better together! For information on how to start or join a Well-Read Mom group visit our website wellreadmom.com
