Parenthood and the Path to Holiness: Lessons from Saint Francis
Written by Megan Keyser
As we reflect this year on the vocation of fatherhood, we see that authentic fatherhood – and by extension, motherhood – consists in the willingness to offer oneself, most especially to those souls placed within one’s authority and care. And perhaps, in light of our reflection on the life of Saint Francis, we can even further be gladdened by the vital link between parenthood and sacrificial, sanctifying love.
Like Francis discovered as his Friars Minor rapidly grew, spiritual fatherhood not only exacted an enormous physical, emotional, and mental toil, as he denied himself for love, it also propelled him down a path toward total dependence upon Christ, which thereby brought Francis to deep union with God. As parents, our poor hearts, minds, and souls struggle under the weight of tasks before us, as we are continually asked to give more of ourselves – our time, leisure, understanding, and love – to our children.
When we begin our parenting odyssey, each encroachment upon our accustomed independence or self-gratification seems a struggle, and the simple – but utterly foreign – tasks of changing diapers and soothing fussy babies seems almost herculean. Yet, in pursuit of something Greater, we choose this demanding path. We grit our teeth, breathe a prayer – and maybe grab a second coffee – to suppress our natural longings for sleep, order, and quiet, and we are slowly, almost imperceptibly, transformed by love.
It reminds me of Saint Francis’ first time embracing and kissing the formerly abhorrent leper: “…he saw a leper in his path and the old loathing, the old dread of deformity, rose up and choked him. A short while ago he would have yielded to his fear…but there was a power within him now that was stronger than his fear. He did violence to himself, fought down the sickening dread and gave himself into the hands of love to do with him what love would” (pg. 25).
If we choose to follow in Francis’ footsteps, each small offering of oneself, pushes us along the path of love. So that we won’t easily succumb to pride by believing we have “mastered” sacrificial love, the tasks typically grow more demanding as we increase in charity and strength, continually stretching us, while keeping us humble. But God is with us, even as we are stretched beyond our meager comprehension, completing each imperfect act of love we willingly undertake and using us as instruments of His Glory: “As far as I can and more than I can” (pg. 301).
When we make incremental choices to love with greater openness, with greater intensity, we become instruments in God’s powerful Hands: “Marvelous powers and energies are in us all but they are stifled and overlaid by the mud of self. Once that is washed away they are liberated and the man who enters into the enjoyment of them is not so much abnormal as normal; now at last he approximates a little nearer to what he was meant to be” (pg. 187).
As the New Year continues, we have the opportunity to ignore the cheap distractions of materialism, indulgence, and unbridled self-love, to immerse ourselves in meaningful and uplifting fellowship, to serve others with willingness and joy, and to prioritize our relationship with the Lord before all else. We have the ability to become, like Saint Francis, a “light [that] sends such a beam through the darkness of this world that the darkness not only cannot extinguish it but is forced to recognize it and cannot forget it” (pg. 1). Here’s to a world filled with lights.
About Megan Keyser
Originally hailing from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Megan is a 2006 Hillsdale College graduate with a degree in Classical Studies. These days, Megan thrives on the challenges and joys of her role as a Catholic, stay-at-home mother, who heads a chapter of the Well-Read Mom, dabbles in social commentary and other writing pursuits, and advocates for the pro-life cause. Despite the inevitable chaos of large family life, Megan is thankful for her lively brood and relishes juggling household responsibilities, babies in diapers, and, of course, a good book. She resides in Noblesville, Indiana, with her husband, Marc, an engineer in the energy industry, and their eleven children, ages 17 years to 11 months old.
About Well-Read Mom
In Well-Read Mom, women read more and read well. Our hope is to deepen the awareness of meaning hidden in each woman’s daily life. We long to elevate the cultural conversation and revitalize reading literature from books. If you would like us to help you select worthy reading material, we invite you to join and read along. We are better together! For information on how to start or join a Well-Read Mom group visit our website wellreadmom.com
