Seeking Beyond the Suffering

Seeking. I am always seeking. Seeking a bargain, a better way to do a chore, or getting two errands done simultaneously. But this year has been different. Life events have pushed me deeper toward inner strength, perseverance, and, ultimately, toward God more fully present in me.  

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Seeking the Hidden Holiness of Motherhood

In my time as a mother, I have sought long and hard for holiness. I want to feel holy. I want life to look holy. I have this false impression that my life before marriage was all those things, simply because I had the time and freedom to pray in peace, to attend mass daily, and to have a job that involved active ministry. Maybe it was holy, but holier than life as a wife and mother? More holy than a life of routine self-sacrifice, self-denial, and discomfort? 

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Erudite

I first learned about Well-Read Mom after our family moved from Florida to Georgia, and I was looking to meet new people. A dear friend invited me to join her evening group. The structure and rigor of the book selections fed my love for literature. Unfortunately, evening book club meetings were not sustainable for our growing family. I tried reading on my own, but it wasn’t the same. If I wanted a book club that fit my family’s needs, I would need to start my own chapter.

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Finding Charis

I began my journey in the Year of the Seeker by responding to a forwarded email from a friend inviting me to join a local Well-Read Mom group. It was July, and my husband and I were coordinating the fall schedules of our seven children.  We had also just found out we were expecting.  Though I have been an avid reader since childhood, I have never participated in a book club.  I thought reading some new books and chatting with like-minded women might be a good opportunity.

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This Child’s Mama

There was a woman who, after having six children and two miscarriages, gave all her baby gear away, from clothes—to cradle—to crib. Then, at 42, she learned that she was pregnant. Though she loved being a mother, and the initial surprise of this news sparked joy, the discovery soon turned to heaviness, and she was gripped by fear and uneasiness.

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The Little Way of Motherhood

While, undoubtedly, I have received countless gifts throughout my marriage, these blessings have certainly not always been what I envisioned. Oddly enough, the blessings I have received have very often completely eroded my old conceptions of happiness. More frequently than not, these gifts have come in the form of crosses—trials sent to reshape my own heart.

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Mina and Mattie: Examples of Femininity

I am due with a new little one any day now (prayers appreciated!), and the very clear reality of labor and birth is looming over me pretty much non-stop. While I must admit that I am battling some fear, I am also incredibly aware of my posture in front of this reality. This baby is coming, and only I can walk the road before me. It is a task that I have been given, and I must either grudgingly accept or gratefully receive. Both of these options are open to me, but it seems that there is one that offers more freedom. Freedom for me is in the active surrender of saying yes. 

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