Reading and the Receptive Capacity of a Woman’s Soul
Written by Carolyn Seida
“Why do you read novels? Do they change the way you live?” My husband’s question caught me off guard. I don’t remember the answer I gave, but I kept coming back to his question. I was deep into Wuthering Heights, and this dark story, along with his pointed question, got me thinking: Is this just entertainment? Is it all a waste of time? Does reading really change anything?
As I thought through the books I read during Year of the Teacher, I found that many had changed me, not in dramatic ways, perhaps, but each one had given me a little nudge. Surprisingly, Persuasion deepened my prayer life—Anne and Captain Wentworth’s love for each other gave color to the Creator’s own love for me. Bendrix and Sarah from The End of the Affair have a zeal both in hate and in love that challenged my phlegmatic temperament. Dispositionally, I run the risk of being spat out for my lukewarmness, but my faith grew in authenticity as I witnessed their struggle for belief and the consequences of that belief in their lives. Purgatorio helped to purify my desire for God’s will in the midst of a challenging miscarriage. Outwardly, these books have not changed how I live my daily life, but they have formed who I am.
Many books, even the best books, might not obviously change the way we live. But a good book, like so many recommended by Well-Read Mom, has a way of getting into your soul and changing who you are. While perusing the Year of the Woman booklist, I was delighted to see a quote from one of my favorite saints:
“The woman’s soul is fashioned as a shelter in which other souls may unfold.”
Edith Stein’s words got to the heart of my husband’s question: perhaps reading is one way to develop this capacity in our souls. When I receive even a fictional soul into my own, my heart expands just a bit, and my own ability to receive others grows.
I experienced this expansion of my heart after a particularly difficult day with my young kids. I was forced to consider that maybe my own grumpiness was more the cause of my little ones’ distemper than I realized. My mind went to Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, whose presence casts gloom upon the whole house, perhaps most noticeable when contrasted with the imperfect yet healing presence of young Catherine by the end. How little did I expect to see myself in Heathcliff, yet this self-knowledge helped me to receive my children more generously.
Another of my recent reads developed this idea further. I found that the shelter of my heart was graced by Margaret Hale in North and South, like the presence of a close friend. My mind was calmed in my interactions with my kids as this character pervaded my consciousness even when my audiobook waited on pause for me. I began to respond to people as Margaret might, seeking to imitate her calmness and generosity. When a character gets into my heart, whether through illuminating my faults or inspiring me to virtue, I find that there is often even more room in my heart for others.
Immediately after the quote for Year of the Woman taken from Edith Stein’s essay “Principles of Women’s Education,” she identifies seven attributes of a woman’s soul: expansive, quiet, warm, clear, self-contained, empty of itself, mistress of itself. These attributes were given to Eve, and in a perfect way to the Mother of God. With particular care and the action of divine grace, all women can aspire to these perfections. At the same time, Edith Stein identifies vices into which these characteristics can devolve, namely curiosity, commotion, being full of oneself, and inconstancy.
There are ways that reading could draw us into these vices. A quality booklist can help with this-so many books are frivolous at best and introduce commotion and idle curiosity into the soul. Something that I’ve always struggled with is maintaining self-possession in the midst of a gripping story. It is easy to become so immersed in the novel that reality becomes a burden. I have memories of preparing lunch as a young teenager with the latest Harry Potter book propped open in my hand, unable to put it down. As a mother, I must guard against the temptation to escape into my book, regarding children or housework as interruptions. I can grow bitter toward the giftedness of reality when I am not, as Edith Stein puts it, “mistress of myself.”
Yet the opposite is also true. Many books possess a beauty and a clarity that enhance the natural proclivities of a woman’s soul. I can look at each book I’ve read this year and identify one characteristic of the woman’s soul it has developed in me. That is the action of God’s grace, and one way He is forming my heart into a shelter for others.
Perhaps this is the answer to my husband’s question. In this Year of the Woman, I would like to ask myself: How does this book help me to receive others well? How does it help me become more expansive, quiet, warm, clear, self-contained, empty of myself, and mistress of myself? I am invigorated to be rediscovering woman through the characters that will unfold in my soul. I am hopeful and convicted that the enjoyment and challenge of reading is a work that is always changing the way I live, as it is forming my very soul’s receptivity to others.
Carolyn Seida
Carolyn Seida lives in Skokie, IL, with her husband and two young girls. When she’s not reading, she enjoys her small vegetable garden, being outside, homeschooling her kids, and playing guitar very badly. She is grateful for the Well-Read Mom community for always keeping her reading and thinking.
About Well-Read Mom
In Well-Read Mom, women read more and read well. Our hope is to deepen the awareness of meaning hidden in each woman’s daily life, elevate the cultural conversation, and revitalize reading literature from books. If you would like to have us help you select worthy reading material, we invite you to join and read along with us. We are better together! For information on how to start or join a Well-Read Mom group visit our website wellreadmom.com
