Wonder Makes Us More Human—and More Fun!
Written by Marcie Stokman, Founder And President Of Well-Read Mom, Author Of The Well-Read Mom: Read More. Read Well.
The spirit of the holidays is quickly approaching. Awe-filled eyes gaze upon glittering lights, and the fragrant smell of pine permeates our cozy reading nooks. Advent places upon our hearts the desire for peaceful, contemplative prayer and inspires us to view mundane tasks with gratitude and child-like wonder. May we always seek to view our daily lives with the same admiration as children anticipating the very moment the Christmas lights are turned on for the first time all season.
The following blog is an excerpt from Well-Read Mom founder Marcie Stokman’s book, The Well-Read Mom: Read More. Read Well. Copyright © 2019 by Marcie Stokman, used with permission. This book empowers women to reclaim time for reading and friendship while authentically seeking out all that is good, beautiful, and true.
—The Well-Read Mom Team
I read Hard Times, by Charles Dickens for Well-Read Mom’s Year of the Contemplative. Dickens strikes a hard blow against utilitarianism. While we no longer live in the 1800s, our technological age is rife with utilitarianism. Technology—combined with our frantic efforts to get ever more done—demands ever greater efficiency. And with greater efficiency comes a grave temptation to view human beings in a reduced, dehumanized way. We’re judged by how much we accomplish.
He seems to suggest an antidote to the hard times brought about by the mechanization of the Industrial Age. Not surprisingly, this solution comes through women! The characters who have cultivated wonder are the ones who are able to bring a healing, humanizing gaze on those they meet.
In Mr. Gradgrind’s “Facts, nothing but facts” school of efficiency, his students are “never to fancy and never to wonder.” Their education stifles their growth.
Dickens shows us that women who live with wonder have a unique ability to impact their surroundings; they are the ones who create an environment in which people can thrive. The character Sissy Jupe, for example, illustrates that true femininity is a remedy for the utilitarian mindset. It is part of the solution to restore social harmony. The people Sissy interacts with realize they are loved; love brings out the best in them.
“Good literature can awaken us to see and to live a more wonderful life, that is, a life more full of wonder.“
Marcie Stokman, Well-Read Mom Founder and President
Mrs. Gradgrind, on the other hand, buys into her husband’s utilitarian system. Her feminine nature becomes cold and complaining—to the extent that she is unable to enjoy being with her children. When she walks into the room and sees her children wasting time in a state of wonder as they sit gazing into the fire, she resents it and lets them know it: “I really do wish that I had never had a family, and then you would have known what it was to do without me!” Rather than joining her children to wonder and delight in the fire, she nags and complains. Her eyes and heart are shut tight.
Mrs. Gradgrind’s closed heart shocked me because in it, I saw myself. How many times do I complain and nag? How often do I look at my husband and children through a lens of efficiency instead of a lens of delight?
Years ago my son Jim came home from an event and said, “Mom a lady who was there knew you, and she said it must be so much fun having you as a mom.” By the look on his face, I could see he was surprised by her thinking I must be fun. I said, “You don’t think I’m fun?”
“Well, you’re a good mom and everything, but I wouldn’t say you’re fun.”
This little conversation with Jim was a wakeup call for me. I took a look in the mirror and saw a mean, stern-looking mom whose primary concern was to keep a houseful of kids under some kind of control. But that little exchange made me wonder: How can I live with my children differently? Is it possible to enjoy them in the midst of all the work involved in managing a household? I prayed. I asked. I begged the Lord to help me.
Later that day, an idea came to me that was a step toward living with wonder. I got a pad of yellow post-it notes and put messages to myself around the house where I would see them. My mantras became, “Laugh every day with each child”; “Look each child in the eye every day”; “Delight in each child every day.”
These little post-it notes stirred up my curiosity and creativity—sending me on a quest: What is there today to delight in and laugh with Margaret about? I wondered. As I walked into the kitchen, there was six-year-old Margaret to let me know: “Look, Mom, I did my nails!” she said with pride as she stood there with the jar of olives open and a green olive secured on each of her 10 fingers. Before my resolution, I might have reacted in anger; that day, a little miracle happened in me. I found myself smiling and then laughing. I saw Margaret through the eyes of wonder: Who is this creative, happy, beautiful child? Thank you, God, for giving me eyes to see her in a new way.
Children are good at reminding us to see. Antoine de Saint Exupéry’s Little Prince teaches the narrator, “It is only with the heart that one sees rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eyes.”
Good literature can awaken us to see and to live a more wonderful life, that is, a life more full of wonder.
Marcie Stokman
Marcie Stokman, M.A., is the founder and president of Well-Read Mom. She writes and speaks to encourage women and share the power of reading. She is the author of The Well-Read Mom: Read More. Read Well. which is an inspiring book on how, why, and what to read.
About Well-Read Mom
In Well-Read Mom, women read more and read well. Our hope is to deepen the awareness of meaning hidden in each woman’s daily life, elevate the cultural conversation, and revitalize reading literature from books. If you would like to have us help you select worthy reading material, we invite you to join and read along with us. We are better together! For information on how to start or join a Well-Read Mom group visit our website wellreadmom.com
